You can have a great marriage! Don’t settle for a mediocre relationship. Engage the promises of God in your family by following this powerful advice from church members just like you.
As a pastor, I not only teach our church members, but I get the privilege of learning from them as well. I thank God for faithful Christian people that love the Lord. I asked 12 couples at our recent Valentine’s Banquet to give me one powerful marriage tip they have learned over the years. We shared these during the banquet, and I commented on each one. Their responses were worth their weight in gold! I decided to share them with you today.
The main point is their advice. The comments below each piece of advice are mine. I hope you will receive as much benefit from these tips as we did.
1. Be Financially Free.
This advice was shared by a couple that has been married for 50 years this year. They have found freedom in this critical truth. Debt creates crushing pressure on a relationship. Do not have His and Her money. It all belongs to God. Don’t sneak purchases or hide receipts. Agree on a family budget and follow it. You will never fight about money again if you both agree to live by financial principles and a budget.
2. Learn How Your Partner Receives Love.
People accept and show love differently. Learn your spouse. What makes them feel loved? Is it loving words, time alone, physical touch, acts of service, or thoughtful gifts? Learn which ones are important to them and do them often.
3. Consider One Another’s Feelings.
In marriage, God takes two separate lives and makes them one. It is no longer about you. Your life now is about both of you. It is WE, not me; US, not I. Every word, decision, and action should consider your spouse. Our money. Our schedule. Our home. Our Children. Think in terms of we, not I. Selfishness is a marriage killer. Be considerate.
4. Talk About Problems Right Away.
Problems left to themselves don’t get better; they get worse. If you sweep them under the rug, you’ll keep tripping over them. Pray together and then work it out. Give each other a chance to speak without interrupting. Listen. Be more interested in working it out than proving you are right.
5. Schedule Time Together Each Day.
Plan a schedule for your family that includes time together each day. If you don’t, it is possible to live in the same house and grow apart. Plan 5 minutes of talk with pleasant eye contact in the morning. Do your devotions at the same time. Eat dinner together and talk about the day. If possible, wake up and go to bed at the same time. Have a date night. If your work schedules are complicated, make adjustments as necessary. Find time for each other!
6. Take Whatever Time is Necessary to Communicate.
Communication takes time. We are always running from one event to another in our busy world. Don’t be in such a rush that you allow problems to pile up and continue without attention. Take the time to work things out. Eph 4:26
7. Thank Your Spouse For What They Do For You.
Gratitude is always in style. Don’t take your spouse’s investments in your relationship for granted. Say “Thank You” even when your spouse is fulfilling their Biblical role or doing their “job.”
8. Be Patient With Each Other.
Charity suffereth long and is kind. 1 Cor 13:4 Don’t take your frustrations out on your spouse. Why is it that we are often more kind to strangers than those we love the most? This should not be so! Be patient and kind in your home.
9. Compliment Each Other Even When You Are Not Feeling It.
The marriage that lives according to feelings is destined to fail. Your commitment to your spouse must be greater than your feelings. Do right regardless of how you feel. Feelings change. Truth never changes. Be the spouse you know you should be even when you are not feeling like it.
10. Put God First Considering Your Spouse As A Gift From Him.
Your spouse is a gift from God. Treat them like it! Love them in Jesus’ name. The best thing you can do for your family is to put God first. Love them by putting God first in your daily life. If you both grow closer to God, you can’t help but grow closer to one another.
11. Commit To Being Committed.
Love is more commitment than feeling. You made a commitment to your spouse at the wedding altar. Now commit to being committed. Keep your vows til death do your part! The promises you made to God and your spouse on your wedding day should direct the rest of your life.
12. Love Unconditionally.
True love is unconditional. It is not given based on conditions being met by the one loved. God loved us when we were unlovable! Ro 5:8 God’s love is given based on Who He is not on who you are. This is the kind of love that we must have for our spouses.
When you got married, you vowed to stay together “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health.” There should be no condition in life that would override your love for your spouse. No unconsidered or unforeseen variable changes your wedding vows. Remove all boundaries and conditions of your love. Love unconditionally!
What great advice! Put this advice into practice and watch your marriage blossom. Pick one and start today!
Have a Blessed Day.